[danielsgurl]

I have a ten year old son who when he gets frustrated or can't get his way he cries. I ask him why he cries he tells me that he just gets so mad. It can be over school work or chores or anything. He was an only child for about eight years than came his sister so I don't know if this has alot to do with it or not. I am at my wits end trying to figure out what to do my friends say that he will grow out of this but he's been doing this for over a year. Please help!

[Tomboy_Vania]

Take him to the physilogist or tlak to him about his anger problems. Help that kid out and help him thruogh what he is going through.maybe also he is jealous of his new sister. I hope i helped bye!

[tech_girl]

My 10 year old son also has difficulties with anger and frustration, and often there are tears involved. I have found a few things that work - one, giving him choices where school work or chores are involved (letting him choose what he wants to work on first, for example). We have also found some success in brief"fun time outs"- when he gets really frustrated by something, we will take a short break and read a fun story, maybe play a game for a while, then tackle whatever we were working on again. When it comes to getting his way, clear limits and expectations have really helped - if we say no to something, we are firm, but explain why we made that decision. It has helped quite a bit. It is really frustrating as a parent, and so hard to stay patient and not send him to his room or threaten to break out the duct tape... keep trying different things, a few times, and if it doesn't work, move on to something new. Best of luck!

[Kathy A]

if you can't be a parent, why are you one ?Have you given this kid everything he wants ?Tantrums don't start by themselves, they have a cause. If you spolied him and now his sister gets attention, well you need to deal with that.Therapy might help, you all.

It is natural and he will grow out of it in about 8-10 years.maybe the bawling fits will stop soon but young males about to go into their teenage years are so high on hormones and stuff like that. That he is liable to get extra frustrated at little things.Your friends are right it will level off in a few years.Just bear with him. I was about the same way. when I was his age.

therapy

I feel so bad for you! My 12 year old just learned to control his anger/crying fits and our household is so much better. I was at my end with him and then stumbled upon a psychologist who specializes in childhood anger. He told me that I was to go out and buy my son a notebook that was his"anger"notebook. Everytime he got angry I was to have him write a page long in that notebook about WHAT he did...not WHY but WHAT, did he throw a chair, did he scream at me, did he cry for an hour, that sort of thing. I was also to take my camera and get in on video, we don't have a video camera so he said a picture of his fits would be fine. Every time we were to go visit we were to bring that notebook and pictures. Then he had my son leave the room and explained to me that it sounds stupid but it's punishing the anger. When someone yells at you and you yell back then you are rewarding their yelling at you but if you simply smile at them and say something nice then you are punishing their yelling at you. He told me to not yell or get worked up when my son had these fits but to simply get out the camera and take pictures. He said that noone wants their pictures taken when they are mad because then you can show that to someone else. He said when these fits came to smile and make jokes about him yelling or crying or whatever. Ok, now having said that believe it or not it worked! My son never even had to write in that book. The first time I went for my camera he stopped right there. The psychologist says anger is trained and can be untrained. Well, I left that office thinking I had wasted my time but being at my end I tried it and it worked. Hopefully this can help you.