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Depression, undereating? Getting help.
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Default Depression, undereating? Getting help. – 03-31-2013, 07:11 AM

I am a female turning eighteen years old this June. I am currently seeing a psychologist for depression at the recommendation of my doctor. My depression is getting worse, but I’ve had two sessions with her so far trying to fix it. I’m trying to be as honest as I can with her because I don’t want this feeling to continue, but it’s difficult.
There are two things that I have trouble telling her about.
1. The intense lonliness I feel everyday, even though I shouldn’t. I think the root of it may be that I have never in my life been intimate with anybody, while all around me my friends are having their first sexual experiences. I know i shouldn’t be so desperate to have a boyfriend, but after almost eighteen years without one, it’s hurting.
2. I can see that I don’t eat enough. I was never overweight, but I lost 9 kilos in about 2 months from not eating. I don’t pack or buy any lunch for school and eat only very small dinner time meals. All healthy, barely any packaged or processed food, but very little. I can see it happening but I can’t stop myself. I have no problem with curvy girls, I find them beautiful. I don’t excessively exercise, though i do 3 gym classes a week. I don’t purge or anything like that, and I’m admitting it here so surely I’m not bulimic or anorexic. For the past month, I feel nausea every night to the point where it keeps me awake. For example today I had one mini Easter egg in the morning and ate nothing until 5pm when I had a few slices of barbecue chicken and a yoghurt. I purely couldn’t bring myself to eat anything. My Mum helps me when i have dark moments, but she often lightly scolds me for not just pulling myself out of it.
When i try to tell my psychologist about these things, I just stop. I can see it happening but I don’t know how to stop it. I’ve read about the negative effects of not eating and I don’t want that but I don’t know how to fix it.
   
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