[Most Amazing Thing]

I consider a miscarriage a death of a child, but for the purpose of this question,"death of a child"means a child that had already been born. Are the two comparable? Is the death of a child worse?

[leelee]

i think both are awful.Having a miscarriage is a terrible thing and yes it is a child no matter how far along you were.Yes you will be sad and depressed after a miscarriage (like i was at one time for a while)I know that i had a baby that died but i do think that if i or anyone else lost a child that was already born that would be worse than a miscarriage because if i were to lose my son i would die. I would. I would not want to go on.a miscarriage is bad but losing a child that you have would be worse. i guess really they are 2 different things to me.

[CounselorDan]

Both loses are devastating but the main difference is how people will react to the person who lost the child. Miscarriages are seen by many as not"real"relationships so the person's grieving period is suppose to be shorter. In some case people do not even expect you to grieve. (Even though that is totally ridiculous) For a born child, people react totally different.It really has to do with how a person percieves their miscarriage. For a born child a person has had more time to bond, however, carrying a fetus has a lot of bonding qualities attached to it. So to answer your question, it depends on the person and how they react to it.

[bainbridge]

I have suffered two miscarriages and came near to losing my 18 month old son. Miscarriages are very distressing, not least of which are the hormonal changes which we undergo when a pregnancy is terminated and the loss of a baby at any stage is always traumatic, particularly if one has been trying to start a family for some time. There is a bereavement process which we all experience and miscarriage is a loss or death of a baby. However, this does not compare to the way I felt with the possibility of losing my 18 month old son. This was far more traumatic and distressing. Thank heavens that all ended positively but during his illness the thought of losing him was unbearable. I would consider that this was a much more distressing situation than the loss of my unborn.

[dotsycat]

. I lost a baby at 26 weeks of pregnancy. The excitement of expecting my boy whom we named Timothy was nothing to compare with anything or any loss. He was induced still born. I will NEVER forget holding him with my husband. My mom came into the delivery room and all 3 of us balled our eyes out along with a few nurses. They gave us his little hat, the blanket he was wrapped in and also 2 pictures of him. The responses we received were unbelievable. People actually said you can have another and some said at least he was never alive. Only one person and her sister sent me a very loving card explaining how they know it hurts because one of them had been tying to conceive for years. Well that was 14 years ago. I now have a healthy 11 year old boy and my friend and her husband whom tried for years now have 2 healthy young children. My absolute best friend though lost her 10 year old boy and still will not talk about it to this day (it happened in his sleep 4 years ago) Both cause so much pain. How are you to compare? Especially if I were not lucky enough to have my 11 year old healthy boy right now still living.

[blue_eyes_1_]

I think so. I had a miscarriage when I was three months pregnant. I had no clue that I was pregnant, but when it happened I was upset. The way I looked at it was"it wasn't supposed to be".5 years ago, my sister gave birth 3 months early, and the baby was very tiny. He was put on life support to help him breathe. He died a month later. As an Aunt, I felt this terrible void in my heart. It hurt so bad inside to know that a part of my sister couldn't live. Even thought it has been five years, my heart still aches for the baby and child he could have been.I still think of the child I miscarried, wondering what it might have been, but I think compared to the death of a child, there really is no comparison.