What advice would you give to someone living with post traumatic stress?

Intrepid

My mother went through a lot of stressful and traumatic incidents in her life. She seemed ok, but now I suspect she is exhibiting post traumatic stress. (I'm living in another country, but will return next year, when my term of service is up.) I'm here on holiday, to be with her. I noticed that her nerves seem to be constantly on edge, vulnerable, forgetful, agitated. She told me she knows she has post traumatic stress, but she refuses to go on medication, and doesn't trust counsellors.So what can I do to make my mother more calm and relaxed given this situation?Thanks.

Tinkerbell · 12-12-2008, 06:42 PM

Just be there for her. There isn't much you can do as she needs to work through it herself... just be supportive, and help push her in the right direction. I know that's not very helpful, but her knowing you're there will do more than most other things could.

oddball59 · 12-12-2008, 09:04 PM

She needs to talk and talk and talk about the things that caused this. It really is the only way. The flashbacks that many people get with this disorder is the mind's way of trying to make sense of the events. The more it comes out into the open the better and the sooner she will come to terms with it.Having said that, she should not spend ALL her time talking and reliving it as that would be worse. A healthy balance of good things in her life that she enjoys and to be able to relive and offload the experiences that are upsetting her.Hope that helps.

Tracy · 12-12-2008, 11:26 PM

Take it one day at a time. Don't push her. Don't tell her she's crazy either. I got robbed at gun point when I was 17 and I'm still in therapy for it. I hate when people tell me to get over it and that I'm crazy. Don't do that. It something she has to deal with and everyone is different and reacts differently to stress.

bmac · 12-14-2008, 04:31 PM

You can't. She doesn't want to get better. That's the whole point. She does know that she needs medication and counseling and she's refusing. So that's it. If she really wanted to feel better, she would do whatever she needed to do for that to happen.It is very common for people who are like your mother (mine was the SAME way and did nothing but drink) to become addicted to their misery. Your mother probably doesn't remember what it was like before the trauma--she's so used to her pain. There is also a GREAT fear of counseling. They would drudge up all that stuff from the past and even though it's always on her mind--talking about it to another person would make it feel like it was just happening all over again. Be kind, understand. Bring her joy where you can.

June S · 01-09-2009, 10:32 PM

The getting well is in your Mother's own hands.I would normally recommend seeing a counsellor to talk over the stressful and traumatic incidents, sometimes this can help a lot especially as the counsellor can guide one into thinking about it in another way. But if your Mother cannot trust counsellors that reduces her options a lot.Your Mother needs to ask herself (and I would put it to her) does she want to get over the post traumatic stress? If her answer is yes there are several options. These are:-Go back to GP to see what options are available.-See a counsellor (your Mother may find one she can trust)-Take up Yoga, Tai Chi, Relaxation and Meditation to help cope with the stress.-Attend Workshops on Stress Management.-View Mood Gym on-lineIn the end your Mother has to take responsibility for her own healing.Hope she can be courageous enough to do so as I do believe it will continue to affect her until she tries to overcome.Even though talking about it can be very distressing it is also releasing the trauma and if your Mum can do so with the aid of a trained Counsellor so much the better.Good Wishes for a Happy, Healthy future.

02-23-2009, 06:37 PM

You should really try to get her to seek therapy of some kind. People deal with these conditions in there own way, and it varies from person to person and the events that caused PTS. You can just be there for her and try to find the root of the problem. Be very careful in what you do, people in these sort of situations can slip into depression at the blink of an eye. best of luck, hope things work out ok.