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How can a woman become more sexually aggressive?
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Default How can a woman become more sexually aggressive? - 12-20-2008, 10:53 AM

I am not sexually aggressive at all. I would like to know if anyone has any tips on becoming more sexually aggressive. I have never initiated sex. I was in a bad relationship a long time ago and was abused sexually by him. I love my partner now and I want to please him, but I am not sure how. I know he gets frustrated with me, but I am so self-conscious that I sort of freeze up when he wants me to start something. Any ideas or tips? Please!
   
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Default 12-21-2008, 05:51 AM

therapy. seriously, if a traumatic past relationship has frozen you up and you don't want to be that way then it's time for professional help.also talk to your partner. ask him what turns him on and what he wants you to do.and the word you are actually looking for is"assertive"you want to be more sexually assertive NOT aggressive. although that Freudian slip could also say a great deal about your personal situation.Good Luck
   
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Default 12-22-2008, 12:52 AM

just do what you are comfortable and talk to him talk is the most important in a relationship.
   
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Default 12-26-2008, 01:17 AM

i've learned that once you become more aggressive about what you want, you also lose the self-consciousness that you describe because you are now the one initiating and have a feeling of more control over the matter. you lose that feeling of being second when it comes to sex and you develop a confidence that does make you more aggressive and actually enjoy it more. good luck.
   
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Default 12-28-2008, 08:47 PM

Well I suppose if you are still dating, you should offer to rent a movie and watch it at home, this is always a good pretense as it allows you to be in a comfortable surroundings. Then simply start kissing him, and continue kissing him. You don't need to go porno and meet him at the door buck naked and blow him right where he stands, that is not the point. But start by just making out, making out generally leads to a bit of caressing, hugging, touching rubbing, etc. Be prepared, where the appropriate clothing. Things that will not slow your progress when things are getting hot. Start out slow but make sure you stay focused. Slowly it will get to a situation where he is going to move his hand somewhere under you shirt or clothes so don't be surprised or hesitant. Just go with it. But make sure it is mutual. So if you lose your shirt, so should he. Continue kissing all during this process and stay close (face to face). Last thing you want, is to stop and start looking each other over. That can never be a good thing while in the middle of making out. Make sure you have handy protection and whatever you may need. Just be safe. You don't need to be overly agressive, just follow these steps and you will move your relationship forward. After the first time, it always gets more casual and natural. And before you know it you are closer than before. However, if you are very young, I suggest you wait as the last thing you want is to take that step forward. You will become closer, but life also gets more complicated. I can't tell you how many of my friends wished they would have waited longer.
   
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Default 09-08-2011, 10:36 AM

Sex can solve the stresses of a relationship, but it’s often where the stresses show up. If we complain about a lack of sex (or your doing certain things only on our birthday), we may be overlooking serious issues that underpin such withholding. We need you to enlighten us. The male ego is often tied to sex, so it’s easy for us to dismiss bedroom problems as female disinterest rather than issues we have a part in. Avoiding these problems, however, only perpetuates your feeling unseen and our frustration.
   
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